Cunningham Law Office
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Is staying together for the kids a good idea?

| Jan 4, 2021 | divorce |

Many parents in Montana fear that divorce will cause irreparable damage to their kids. Some couples decide to stay together for the sake of their kids even while remaining in an unhappy marriage. While every family dynamic is different, in some cases, staying together for the kids could actually end up doing more harm than good. Here are a few reasons why.

Kids pick up on more than you might think

As hard as you may try to give the appearance that things are fine with your spouse, your kids might know more than you realize. Kids often pick up on hidden emotions like anger, resentment and conflict. In the long run, you might be teaching your kids that marriage is about separateness, not togetherness.

You may be teaching your kids the wrong lesson

By choosing to remain in conflict, you may be teaching your kids the wrong lessons about what to expect from their future marriages, too. You may not be doing yourself, your spouse or your kids any favors by sticking around and feeling miserable day after day.

You might be compromising your kids’ happiness

Your kids deserve happiness. Your initial belief may be that your kids will never be happy again if you opt for divorce. However, the reality may very well be that your kids become unhappy if you decide to stay together in an unhappy marriage.

Factors that can buffer the impact of divorce

Many children of divorced parents adapt to new routines and living environments within just a year or two. The chances of a good outcome for your kids are likely to increase if you:

  • Make sure the children feel safe and secure
  • Speak well of the other parent
  • Teach good coping skills

With all the best intentions in the world, parents can’t always make their marriages work. Your kids could benefit from seeing their parents choose happiness and fulfillment. If you are debating whether to stay in your marriage for the kids, a family law attorney may be able to offer helpful guidance.

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