If you are going through a divorce, you may be concerned about its effect on your Montana children. Despite the emotional and financial turmoil that it can cause, it is still possible to have one that focuses on the best interests of the child and protects them to some extent.
Avoiding open conflict
You may not be able to avoid conflict with your spouse, but you do not have to expose your children to it. Ideally, you would be able to resolve your differences and create a parenting plan through negotiation instead of going to court. Even if your spouse is uncooperative, you can make an effort to take the high road and seek resolution rather than revenge. Focusing on how your actions affect your children instead of anger or frustration at your spouse can help shield them from some of the upheaval they are experiencing.
Listening and sharing
This means listening to your children and making sure that you don’t burden them with the details of the divorce. In particular, avoid sharing any negative feelings you have about the other parent. Children who are distressed about a divorce may act out in a variety of ways that might not seem obviously connected to the situation, but it is likely that they are struggling with difficult emotions themselves. You can create a space where they feel safe if they want to share those emotions. When you need to vent some of those emotions yourself or are trying to problem solve a divorce-related issue, turn to your friends, family or a professional, such as a counselor, instead of your children.
The process of divorce can take some time, and you should not rush through it, particularly when it comes to financial matters that could be important for the financial stability of your children. However, you should also avoid any temptation to delay it, whether that is because of your own unresolved feelings or anger at your spouse. Focusing on building a better future for your children can help you proceed in a way that benefits them the most.